A lot of my friends asked me recently how can they find their match, their soulmate? So I searched the internet for an answer and I found some interesting articles that seem relevant to me.I think you will also be interested to know about them because they are some tips that you can use them for yourself.
But first we have to find out what is love from a psychological view:
Love is defined as being composed from 3 essential things: Intimacy, Passion and Commitment. If you have those 3 essential elements, you have real love. Seems simple enough.. but let’s see what each of them means.
Intimacy is the connection you have with the other person, you can tell secrets, you can be sincere with that person.
Passion is the physical attraction between two persons.
Commitment is the decision of love, the fact that you want to have a relationship with that person for a certain period of time.
Why is important to have all those 3 elements in your relationship?
Because having only Intimacy means liking each other, telling secrets. In one word, friendship… Or, for some, the eternal friend zone. You don’t want to have physical attraction with that person, you son’t have the commitment to stay a long time in a relationship with that person.
Having only Passion is infatuation, love t the first side. You are very attracted to that person only physically because he/she looks awesome and all that you want is some “bang-bang”. You don’t want to share secrets, nor want to maintain that relationship. When the physical attraction fades, all is gone. Relationship is over.
Having only Commitment is also called empty love. You don’t share secrets with that person and there’s no physical attraction, but you really wanna stay with that person. This is usually the final stage of a long time relationship/marriage. This is also happening in the arranged marriage. The partners never saw each other so there’s no intimacy, nor physical attraction because they see each other only in the church or where they made the commitment.
Why having only 2 of 3 is not true love?
When you have Intimacy and Passion, it’s romantic love, like Romeo and Juliet for example. They shared secrets, there was physical attraction, but there was no commitment. You all know how that relationship ended.
If there is are Intimacy and Commitment, this is friend zone. You share secrets, want to continue the friendship, but if there’s no Passion, you will remain forever the best friend.
Having Passion and Commitment is like a soap: you are physical attraction to him/her and you want to maintain the relationship. But there’s no Intimacy so you can have the surprise that that person will cheat, than come back to you because there is no trust.
When you have all 3 elements: Intimacy, Passion and Commitment, you have true love. You trust that person, you are physically attract to her and you have Commitment to maintain the relationship as long as you can.
I will talk more on this subject because a lot of things remain uncovered, so we will discover them in the second part of this article. Hope you enjoyed it!